How to get through Christmas feeling like you
The Creative Buddhist Sunday Supplement
Hello you,
When it comes to Christmas, resistance is futile. Only once in my 56 years did I completely shun Christmas. I was living in a retreat centre and decided to assert my individuality by not going home to my family for Christmas. That Christmas day the sun was shining and I have a vivid memory of digging out the compost heap, while imagining, 300 miles away, my family sitting down to their Christmas dinner, without me. It had been a mistake and I never missed another Christmas. Now I have a family of my own and a mashup of Swedish and English traditions.
My strategy these days is to enter wholeheartedly into the whole Christmas celebration, even Swedish midnight mass one year. On the whole, this strategy works, but sometimes I feel I lose something of ‘myself’. I abandon the thread of my life completely and it's hard to pick it up again after the celebrations are over.
What are all the things you do in a regular week that make you feel like you? What keeps you in touch with that golden thread of meaning running through your life? It might be meditation, reading some good Dharma, writing, being creative, or being in nature.
This year I’m going to try to keep that thread going, not in competition with the celebrations, but faintly woven through each day. I’ve just downloaded Vajradevi’s ‘Uncontrived Mindfulness’ (see below) to read in preparation for a retreat over the New Year. So I’ll dip into that. It includes ‘mindful pauses’ which will be my teeny tiny meditations. I’m also going to practice some blind contour portrait drawing and see if I can get the other guests to join me.
What’s the minimum you can do this Christmas to keep feeling like you?
A couple of things from the last two weeks:
The Creative Buddhist Newsletter: Last week I continued my ‘season of death’ theme. In ‘going beyond life and death’ we pondered what the meaning of death, and therefore life, is. And what of those moments when we have a glimpse of something that is beyond both life and death? Then this week I announced the new Creative Monday Club in an email to you all, I’m super excited to see what will come of it.
On my radar this week
Film: Anselm, by Wim Wenders: Here’s one for the new year. Anselm, a documentary about the Artist Anselm Kiefer. I’m going to try to see it in 3D, just because 3D is at last being used to, as one review put it, add philosophical depth (not just make you feel you are about to be eaten by a shark). If you know his work, you’ll know it’s often made on an epic scale, so a trip to the big screen is best.
Radio: I’m sorry I haven’t a clue: Remember how back in the day we used to tell jokes? I think one of today’s equivalents is ‘Instagram Reels’, like this one. I do love to laugh. The trouble is you have to scroll through endless adverts, and things you don’t want to see, as ‘payment’ for that one good laugh. But with ‘I’m sorry I haven’t a clue’ you get half an hour of tears rolling down your cheeks for nothing. I call it ‘radiotherapy’.
Book: Uncontrived mindfulness: This is my Christmas reading, in preparation for a retreat with the author, Vajradevi, after Christmas. I’m only a couple of chapters in but appreciating it as an ‘easy read’ with a lot of depth. The book is called, ‘Uncontrived Mindfulness’, uncontrived because it’s pointing to something deceptively simple, simple but profound. It’s mindfulness, but aimed at insight. You can find it at Windhorse Publications where you can also download the meditations for free.
Newsletter: The Red Hand Files: In his weekly newsletter, The Red Hand Files, Nick Cave answers questions from his fans. They are invariably very touching, like this recent one where a guy writes in with a dilemma; his friend has cancer and is very weak and his wife has asked that he pray for him, but being an atheist, he doesn’t want to be hypocritical. How would you respond?
Speech: Neil Gaiman’s ‘Make Good Art’: If you want to make anything in 2024, here’s the perfect pep talk from Neil Gaiman. In ‘Make Good Art’, given to the University of the Arts Class of 2012, he shares what he’s learned about being himself and doing what he loves. Have a listen to this and then put the Creative Monday Club in your diary for next year, what will you make?
A quote I’m thinking about:
“What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Herein lies the key to your earthly pursuits.”
― Carl Jung
Forward this email to someone who might need help being themselves this Christmas.
Sending some love your way,
Vajradarshini
P.S. I’m on retreat after Christmas, ten days home retreat, so the next Sunday Supplement will arrive a little later
This Week’s Tip - Delete your photos each week: I’ve started deleting any photos I don’t want to keep at the end of each week, it just takes a few minutes. I still have to clear the 15 year backlog, but at least I’m not adding to it!
Christmas with my sister is cancelled this year (due to an illness on her in-laws side) I’m spending the day on my own after a walk in the woods with dogs and a good friend. I have nice food, treats and a Christmas tree. I wil come home, change into comfy clothes, switch on twinkly lights, light the fire and do something creative, with my favourite music in the background. On Boxing Day I’ll visit friends for a dog walk followed by lunch 🎄❤️
Hi Vajradarshini Thank you for this. The idea that one could be fully in Christmas and fully oneself and not some half way compromise is great. Being wholehearted about both has, in a way, set their own boundaries. This is the most I've looked forward to Christmas for a long time. Wishing you well and a wonderful New Year.